Wait, $1200 for an SMG with higher damage than a rifle? Why’s that? Well because here at Valve we like to say: Are you tired of having to eco? Do you love force-buying? Were you a fan of the UMP in Modern Warfare 2? Then fear not! The $1200 rifle is for you! The $1200 rifle makes things like the Galil and Famas absolutely useless when you can force buy it every round because it’s cheaper than your fake Yeezys. *what are those?!* So first, let’s dive into some background history of the gun. In a world where machine guns are expensive and bad, and sub-machine guns are cheap and good, what is balance? Hey Vsauce, Michael here. Today we are going to be looking at the UMP 45. Also known as the $1200 rifle. The word sub-machine gun is derived from the word: “Machine gun”.

A submachine gun may seem ideal, except for its weaker damage compared to rifles. Enter: The UMP45 What sets the UMP apart from the other sub machineguns is the fact that it is more like a rifle, than an SMG. In Fact, it is so much like a rifle that it has often earned itself the nickname of: “the $1200 rifle”. It’s so good at being a rifle, that it even outclasses real rifles like the famas. When you can purchase a UMP45 and kevlar for less than the cost of the famas alone, you can see why that is.

Only now recently you see everyone buying it. But this begs the question: Why is everyone only using it now? To answer that question, we need to rewind the clocks back a few years. The date is February of 2014. Enter in: The Pocket AK47 In terms of broken guns that valve has added to CSGO, everyone can agree that the CZ75 had the largest impact. While something like the R8 was funny for a few days in Matchmaking, and the Aug made the game seem like call of duty for a week, the CZ75 had lasting effects…for almost a year, until it was finally nerfed to what we have today.. But when it was finally nerfed at the end of December, it was far too late, because shortly before it was nerfed, the infamous “KEK-9” was buffed. When the Tec-9 was buffed, it instantly became the replacement for the CZ75. It was accurate when moving, had an extremely accurate spread, and extremely high damage. With the upcoming Katowice 2015 major around the corner, it was clear just how broken it was. When most of olofmeister’s kills are with the tec-9 alone, you know it was broken. After that meme was finally nerfed, all the gold nova’s had to learn how to use rifles again.

So the best option instead of force buying a pistol, is to now to force buy a $1200 rifle. This is the part where I’m supposed to say it’s OP and valve should nerf it, but please valve, dont! This is all I have left. You already nerfed my baby and made her worse. Don’t touch the one good thing I still have going for me in my life! Except the five-seven. Fuck that thing. Please nerf that 1-shot headshot piece of SHIT! *jump cut* Hey Vsauce, Michael here. But, what is dabbing? *It’s time to stop* Hey! You shut the fuck up before I drop a knowledge bomb on your Japanese ass! *jump cut* Alright, so now let’s learn some statistics on the UMP: The UMP 45 is available on both CT and T side for $1200, making it one of the cheapest SMGs.

Because it is an SMG, it has a high kill reward of $600. Twice as much as a rifle. It has a small magazine of only 25 rounds, but that doesn’t matter because it has a higher base damage than most of the rifles. Wait, an SMG having higher damage than all the rifles. Here you might ask yourself, “Wait, why is that?” Well, because here at Valve we like to say: *commercial cut* It has higher damage than a famas, so this alone makes the famas obsolete.

It has a fast movement speed of 230 units a second, so you can run an gun with it to an extent, but it won’t be as accurate as the other SMG’s with their very high running accuracy. That being said, you can strafe back and forth when firing fairly accurately. So you can easily outgun the average gold nova player in matchmaking crouch-spraying with an AK47. It has a rate of fire of 666 rounds per minute, so this confirms that it was made by the devil himself, or Valve, as a “fuck you” to your game balance. Now let’s move on to some gameplay tactics of the weapon: Since the UMP45 has such weird characteristics to it, you get the best of both worlds of it being an SMG and a Rifle. It really does excel on CT side as something you can constantly force buy.

When it costs only 700 more than a Five-Seven and is fully automatic, you can see why the bullshittery factor on it is quite high. Since you’re playing Matchmaking, literally nothing matters economy-wise, so you can just keep force buying every single round and not be punished from it. Spraying with the UMP is probably the easiest compared to any gun in the game, even the P90. The recoil on it is straighter than your teammates in matchmaking, so just pull directly down. Don’t even bother adjusting recoil left or right. Just go for small bursts and it’s very easy to spray down enemies, even at longer ranges. It’s a complete noobish weapon that needs less of a guide than the P90 did. Do don’t worry too much about learning it. Just keep force buying the damn thing every round since you can get away with it. You’ll eventually learn pick up more tricks with it. So, that’s all there is to using the $1200 rifle. Tune in next time as I show you how to use the Deagle’s stupid little brother, and remember: This gun is as broken as it was in Call of Duty

As found on Youtube