Are you tired of practicing to get better at the game? Trying your best to memorize complex spray patterns? Do you find yourself playing games like Hearthstone that rely on RNG?Then fear not! The Five Seven is for you! The Five Seven is a $500 laughing machine that is only available on the CT side because I’d quit this fucking game if you could buy it on both sides. The Five Seven changes your attitude from “Don’t worry guys, they’re on an eco” to “Holy shit that’s fucking bullshit this game is broken why can it one shot through a helmet” So today we’re going to be going over how to use the Fucking Five Seven.

Step one to using this gun is to equip it on CT side. Who needs the CZ-75? Only 24 rounds? How are you going to be able to spam with that? And who needs to put in the work to practice to get better with that gun? You have the 5-7. You don’t need any effort. And just look at that kill reward! You’re practically on minimum wage with the CZ-75. Barely having enough to scrape by at best for the next round. Getting kills with the 5-7 is like being Comcast’s CEO and getting a severance package; you’re practically printing you’re own money at that point. Once you do have enough money, you’re just going to buy an AWP, die while trying to peek mid like the $5000 decoy that you are, are repeat.

Step 2 is to learn how to spray the 5-7. You think the R8 is easy to use N0THING? That gun requires you to aim! With the 5-7, just click mouse 1 as fast as you can while holding down “W” and you’ll be on your way to win easy eco rounds. Step 3 is to force buy the 5-7 every round. Yes, even the pistol round. The 5-7 will leave your enemies salty in chat spamming “who the fuck buys a 5-7 on pistol round?” While you just laugh and chew through their armor, because fuck going for headshots, you have 20 rounds and ammo for days.

Force Buying the 5-7 every round is the counter strike equivalent of wearing sweatpants everyday, and is a clear indication that you’ve given up on life and improving, and would rather rely on RNG. And that’s all it takes to use the Fucking 5-7. Tune in next time as I teach you how to use the $5000 decoy. And remember, this game is clearly balanced and fuck the 5-7 that’s bullshit.

As found on Youtube