Are you tired of having to save to buy rifles? Do you like force buying every round? Are you one of those pieces of shit that used the G18 akimbos? Then fear not! The Pocket AK47 is for you! First, let’s learn to background history on the weapon: The pocket AK47 was released on Febuary of 2014, so probably half of you watching this video weren’t even playing the game at this time.

The Pocket AK47 originally only cost $300, and replaced the P250 slot. This was back when it was super accurate when running, had a faster time to kill than the M4A1, and was all available for $300. “Wait a minute, you ask, isn’t that OP” Yes …….. Back in it’s heyday, there was LITERALLY NO REASON TO SAVE. ITS FUCKING $300. It would be stupid not to buy it every round. This is where teams like LDCZ-75 got their names. Even my silver ass could use this thing back in the day. Valve literally copy and pasted the exact same stats as the P250, but yet the shared the same weapon slot. “But..what’s the point of…if you got this…what?” Yeah sure it has less ammo, but they’re still going to be dead and you’ll have a rifle no matter how much ammo you have left.

*steel clip* Unlike the R8 where it was nerfed overnight, the CZ75 took almost a year *slap* are you fucking kidding me Valve? But since the CS team works on valve time, it was nerfed later in December that year and became a piece of shit, and the rebuffed, and here it is today in its awkward self. Now let’s move onto some statistics of the weapon: The Pocket AK47 has a painstakingly slow draw rate, so don’t even bother trying to use this as a secondary when AWPing. “Yo bro nice gun! Where’d you get it” “Thanks man! I got it at Ikea. Hold on, Give me a second, I have to assemble it real fast” The reload time on it is even worse, so if you need to reload in a gun fight, you might as well just accept your fate. And you might as well switch back to the tec9 and FiveSeven while you’re at it. *mirage day/night* It holds 12 rounds of 9mm bullets, the exact same ammo weak ammo as the peashooter glock, yet for some strange reason packs more punch than a round Because: Valve The kill reward on this gun is $100.

Yes, $100. Careful little Billy, don’t go spending that ll at once on some decoys now. Dont worry, just count your pennies and be smart and someday you’ll rich when using this gun JUST KIDDING you’ll be more broke than a college student eating Ramen. “But it’s an automatic pistol, why doesn’t anyone use it anymore” Well now it’s $500 and takes up the Tec9 and Five seven slot. And since this thing was buffed to shit, and this thing is a quality meme. There’s no reason to use this Ikea gun. “So wait, if there’s no reason to using this, why are you making a guide?” Well you see, unlike the other broken pistols, with the exception of the deagle, this one actually takes a bit of skill now to use.

If you have good aim, this gun is like a mini version of the AK47. If you tap slow enough and have good aim, it can actually be surprisingly good. But that takes a good amount of skill to get down right. The downside is since it requires skill, it doesn’t have that same bullshit factor as the Tec9 and Five seven. You know that feeling when you you’re standing there after gunning down 3 people with 1 health and you have a fucking pistol and you’re wondering to yourself, “how the fuck am I alive right now. This gun is a joke” Yeah you don’t get that with the CZ75.

To pull off that shit actually requires skill. So that combined with the draw time on this gun, and the shitty kill reward, and the fact that it replaces the Tec9 and Five seven. You can see why it’s not that appealing. So it’s one of those things you have to use at your own risk. But please, for the love of god, don’t be that one guy where your team asks for drops on an eco, and they all get a face full of CZ75.

Actually, if you’re bored and want to make eco’s interesting, please do that. Watch as they all spray and fail miserably since they haven’t used it in years. Then all of them will ask “what is this guy fucking retarded? Did he not read the patch notes?” So that’s all there is to using the Pocket AK47. Tune in next time as I show you how to use the: M’P9. And remember,…let’s be realistic here, spray and pray this damn thing. Who gives a shit?.

As found on Youtube



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