Hi My name is Kevduit But YOU can call me Kevduit Most people do You see, here in ESO, life is simple You discover who you are You break out of the Wailing Prison where souls are tormented And then you’re released into a zone Where the chat is so mature and beautiful That I feel new and refreshed EVERY TIME I read it But now what comes next? Well that’s what I’M here for HI I’M KEVDUIT uh, wait, I already said this part I’m here to teach YOU how to level up to level 50 In less than 6 hours! Big N00B: That’s WITCHCRAFT Big Scrub: LIES Big Geek: That’s IMPOSSIBLE Big Nerd: I’m been level 22 for Big Dork: TWO YEARS NOW And that’s just cause you’re a failure! Today we’re entering a leveling process In which you’re brain will explode like a combustible lemon from Cave Johnson Because of how boring it is But you KNOW that is MUST be done! You know how in real life You eat nails in order to make yourself Stronger, faster? Well, in Elder Scrolls Online there is a similar activity To get yourself leveled faster And that process My “soon to be brain-dead” comrades Is GRINDING (a.k.a.

The mental version of shoving your foot in a blender) Now, for those of you just starting this game with your FIRST character This process might be a tad bit more difficult As you need to come in possession of items Of items that can be QUITE costly But for those of you who are leveling up ANOTHER character First of all: (Said in horrifically cringy yet satisfying nerd voice): You’re a big NERD Second of all: You’ll want to get a few things before you head out First off, and most importantly You NEED to break free. You need to go where NO Homeschooler LIKE ME Has gone before YOU NEED A friend… YUP! Having a partner come along with you on your adventure Is a 100% MUST right here Get someone that is a higher level than level 50 And is an experienced player That way, when you die while grinding, You can blame THEM to feel better! Having a partner is SUPER beneficial in QUITE a few ways The XP you gain from enemies will pool together Even if you didn’t kill the enemies yourself You get an XP bonus when in a group with another person It makes killing large groups of enemies a LOT faster And LASTLY I need (Extremely fake sigh used to express a certain emotion to the audience) I need friends Next up, it’s time to acquire few sets of Training gear Question Elf: Uh, but Kevduit Question Elf: A few sets? Question Elf: All I need is one, right? Question Elf: Will this actually end up Question Elf: Benefiting the progressive and ongoing process Question Elf: Of the difficult and mind-meltingly lame Question Elf: technique that is known as GRINDING? (Said with extreme amounts of sarcasm) Good question, Question Elf! Alright, so maybe you don’t NEED multiple sets of training gear But I would HIGHLY recommend it to speed things up You’re going to be leveling so incredibly fast That all of a sudden, you’re going to have out grown your armor level wise As fast as a child grows out of a baby blanket But of course, I’m TOTALLY fine if you wanna be that 40-year old person in public with their baby blanket But for myself, I have a new set of training armor for every 10 levels That way, By the time my armor is getting broken and worn out After a 10 level grind I can easily swap it for a much better set For those of you that don’t know what training armor is, It’s a trait that increase the percentage of experience gained From killing enemies AND TRUST ME (Dark and sinister voice to add some dramatic vibe) You’re gonna need it for grinding I’d say to improve your training gear to at LEAST blue for each set Which gives quite an increased amount of XP gained AND if you’re feeling wasteful Go ahead and upgrade to purple I’m not judging you, you Rich, Snobby, Lousy, Scum of the Earth, No Good…

Also, make sure to make your set a combination of different Heavy, Medium, and Light armor types And having at least one of each type of weapon To help you level in each skill tree Or in the specific tree that you want leveled Next up, it’s time to acquire one of the BEST leveling items’ in the entire game Psyduck Ambrosia This is a 50% increase to your experience gained In EVERYTHING you do And it lasts for a solid half an hour So make SURE that you are only going to use it when you are just about To start beating the LIVING TAR outta all those INFERIOR BEINGS Also, make sure to grab some soul gems for yourself, Because NOBODY likes a person who does THIS: HEYYYYYYY buddy…

HEEEEEEY buckaroooo….. Hey, whatcha doing partner?…. Guess what I DON’T have!… Finally, and not something completely needed but still very helpful: ESO Plus This practically tosses marriage in the garbage Because it gives you the EXACT same amount of bonus experience as the Ring of Mara WITHOUT being forced into a group with that specific person Finally. All of the preparations are out of the way You’ve got your training gear You’ve got your potions or experience scrolls Maybe you picked up ESO plus Or got married And you’ve got your leveling partner Poor Nerd: He told me that he’d kick me from the guild if I didn’t come…

(Fake Laughter) Oh you! (Extremely cringy fake laughter) So, all you need now is your location! And I’ve got 2 amazing locations for you BOTH in Wrothgar Question Elf: BUT KEVDUIT Question Elf: Are you telling me that I need to acquire the Orsinium DLC in order to achieve this intense level of leveling??? I SURE AM! You see, I tested out grinding in the regular zones, But not a single location gave me even Half as much experience as these places in Wrothgar do Plus there were always people interfering And I was constantly having to run around Wasting time getting from location to location And it just wasn’t worth it Why…

Why wouldn’t they… Why wouldn’t they just let me grind?!? Here in Wrothgar, your character level is scaled to the region Which means that CONGRATULATIONS! You’re level 5 inferior nerd skills are now champion level 150! This means that the enemies you kill will ALWAYS be the same level as you, meaning that you’re never going to have to move from location to location A dwarven dungeon infested by something a LOT scarier than dwarves as you venture in deeper And that infestation is… GASP Orcs… As you run past all the dwarves, you’ll finally come across Orc enemies In which you’ll start at the bottom of this cliff Pulling all the orcs from there up to the next batch of orcs Just READY to be killed and looted From there, pull the MIDDLE section of orcs To the orcs that are sitting in a little cavern As well as the enemies up on the cliffside With THIS many enemies, and without a partner, you’d be DEAD And HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY DYING TO AN ORC YOU CAN’T OKAY?!?!? They’re so lame….

Next, head up to the large flat area, where you’re gonna pull THREE Dwarven Centurions And a bunch of smaller enemies to the middle of the room To then just kill them off quickly As you head further up the trail, and fight the dwarven enemies along the way, You’ll come to a plateau where you can pull both Orcs AND Spider-man robots At the same time Head down a small little cliff side path Slaughter MORE inferior beings And now we’re gonna go cliff jumping Head down to this little cliff side corner Hold your Shield button and slowly slide down the cliff…

INTO A GIANT HORDE OF DWARVEN ENEMIES!!! Here you are gonna kill another Dwarven centurion A bunch of smaller dwemmer, and then you’re gonna start the loop all over again Proceed until you’ve hit level 50 Or your brain melts Whichever… Comes… First… For our next and final grinding location, You must head to Frostbreak Fortress In which, if you haven’t yet, You’ll need to complete the quest to get inside the fortress by talking with this nerd right outside FrostBreak is definitely my SECOND choice for grinding Used if my first choice place is too crowded Simply because you just don’t get as much XP After you enter the fortress, the map inside will look like THIS I spent countless hours perfecting this absolutely beautiful drawing of the route that will gain you the MOST amount of XP As you tear your way through the weak dork orcs within The enemies respawn in here quite quickly As it IS a story quest area as well so MORE than likely you’ll encounter other people running around in here as well, But PROBABLY not for the grind But if they ARE there to steal your grind location…

Well… Fregland knows what happens to these kind of people Don’tcha, Fregland? BOTH of these areas give you an INSANE amount of experience when combined with all the stuff you gathered FOR the grind and will easily And yes I’ve done this twice before now, so I would know Get you to level 50 in roughly 6 hours BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Do YOU want to get to Champion level 160 from level 1 in less than 30 seconds? IT’S EASY! All you gotta do is call THIS number! Put on your FAVORITE hat and pants Head out into a mudcrab filled beach AND YOU.

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