Alright, it’s time for me to continue teaching you to become a better player. In this piece of my comprehensive guide, I’m going to continue giving you all the information you need to know before actually playing the game. The first thing I want to talk about are the different types of queues and game modes that you can play. The first type of queue is normal blind pick. Blind pick will allow you to get into a 5v5 game the fastest out of any of the other queues because it doesn’t have ridiculously long queue times or a long pick/ban phase. With that being said, I’d still suggest avoiding it unless you’re with a group of 5 or willing to fill. Since there are no assigned roles, lane selection is decided by who calls it first in chat and most of the time some illiterate fucktard will just lock in what they want anyways.

Odds are you won’t end up getting the role you want unless you’re willing to set up a macro to call your lane. So if you’re forced to play and you don’t want to set up a macro, just become one of the aforementioned illiterate fucktards. If anyone tries to call you on it, feign ignorance by acting like you don’t speak the same language as anyone on your team. Since you’re likely going to get placed on a dysfunctional team either way, communicating with them isn’t important. The next game mode is normal draft. This is a step up from normal blind pick, but at the end of the day it’s still a normal game, and you can’t gain LP from normal games so it’s worthless. If you’re one of the few people that actually play League for fun, this is the queue that I’d suggest. It allows you to pick 2 lanes that you want to play and matches you up with a team.

It’ll sometimes take a bit longer, because there aren’t many people that will willingly queue up to play bitch in a normal game. To further add to the time it takes you to get into game, it also includes the banning and picking phase where it alternates back and forth between the two teams instead of letting everyone pick at once. After normal draft you have Twisted Treeline. I’m not going to take much time going over this since it’s played about as much as Dominion. The overall state of Twisted Treeline is almost as sad as the fact that North America has to import Asians to play video games for us. All Random All Mid, or ARAM, is a luck-based game that’s arguably a bigger waste of time than trying to educate the people of Detroit.

Whichever team gets the better comp will generally win. There’s really not much to talk about with this one, but it’s occasionally fun to play. The final type of unranked mode are the featured games. These rotate every week and include Ultra Rapid Fire, One For All, and some other ones that no one really gives a shit about. Now that all the other queues that aren’t worth playing are out of the way I can go over ranked. The first type of ranked queue, and the only one that matters, is the 5v5 solo/duo queue. Its format is exactly the same as normal draft but at the end of the game you get self-gratifying internet points that prove you’re better than the other people who have less points than you.

Also, since autofill is always enabled for some reason, there’s a small chance you’ll get put on a role that you didn’t queue up for. A solid 99% of the time that role will be support. If you’re like me and would rather die than play support, just dodge and take the 5 minutes and 3 LP loss. Alternatively, you can pick Zyra or Brand and build as if you were playing mid.

As long as you’re not feeding your ass off, no one will complain since that’s the meta right now. There’s also something called flex queue which is ranked with a group of more than 2 people. A person’s rank in this queue is essentially worthless and if they have a higher rank in flex than in solo queue, they’re probably one of those just for fun players that don’t play regular ranked or they’re one of the people that are getting carried by playing with people that are better than them. I have next to zero respect for people that are higher rank in this queue. Actually, I don’t have any respect for League players in general. The current League of Legends ranked system is divided into 7 tiers which are further subdivided into 5 divisions.

The lowest being the 5th and the highest being the 1st, the only exceptions would be Masters and Challengers which don’t have divisions but that’s something I’m going to go over later. The fifth division of any rank is always a complete cesspit littered with some of the most cancerous players in the game. There are 2 types of players down in the 5th division. The first type are the ones who just moved up a tier and are just starting to climb out. The second type can be easily distinguished by checking whether or not they have a “trash tag.” These are the people that know they have no chance of getting to higher ranks, so they just call gg the second the other team gets up by 2 kills and generally try to ruin other players’ games.

People like this are the reason it’s difficult to move up ranks right after you go up a tier. Now that that’s out of the way, I can go over the rest of the tiers. Actually I’m not going to bother going over Bronze, Silver, or Gold because they’re all equally shit and they don’t have any real differences so we’ll start at Plat 5. Plat 5 – the lowest division of Platinum – is where people start to think that they’re actually good at the game. The majority of the time the people that are stuck in Plat 5 are just regular gold players who went on a lucky streak and got promoted. Up next is Plat 4 to Plat 1 players. These players are all around the same skill level mechanic-wise but the decision-making, while still trash, gets progressively better as they move up.

Contrary to what you’d think, after hitting Diamond 5 people’s mechanics improve but the decision-making skills drastically drop. The reason for this is because after hitting Diamond 5, people stop focusing on making good choices and instead focus on making plays to put in their high Elo montages. Most of the people stuck in Diamond 5 stop giving a fuck because they’re already in Diamond and there isn’t any real reward incentive for spending hours trying to grind to Masters. The next group of ranked players, and the group that I currently fall under, are the people anywhere from Diamond 4 to Diamond 1. It contains both washed-up Masters players and people who lack the talent or mental stability to keep climbing higher. The final group are the Masters and Challenger players.

Everyone knows that these are the legends of the top of the ladder so they really need no description. Here’s a description. These people are, for the most part, high-functioning autists who traded their life for Elo. For some of them it works out and they go pro or make a career out of streaming, but the others are fucked since they end up having absolutely no life skills. In Masters and Challenger instead of having divisions like all the other tiers it just has points, or LP. The 200 players with the most amount of LP in Masters get moved into Challengers.

While I group Challenger and Master players together, do not mistake the two. There is a difference in skill between the players in low Masters, mid Masters, and high Masters and Challenger. Now that I’m done making audacious claims about League players….

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