Are you tired of inaccurate pistols? Do you want to be able to snipe someone across the map for $500? Do you hate having to stand still to hit things? Then fear not! The REKT-9 is for you! The REKT-9 goes by many names. The Rekt-9, the Kek-9, and the Tec-9. The KEK-9 was the older version that was recently updated. So now we officially have the REKT-9. So let’s see what this sexy piece of ass right here has to offer. So first let’s go into some of the stats that were updated. The first shot accuracy on it received a huge buff. It is now more accurate than google’s targeted ads towards you. “Wtf? Motion capture suit? Oh come on, my SFM animations aren’t that bad!” *these sfm’s suck, pls stop* [previously] Oh no nononono.
Oh boy were we wrong then. It’s actually more accurate than an AK47 now when standing still. I fucking shit you not. This tiny ass little pistol, with a 1 in barrel, is more accurate than an AK. *cancer bleach meme* “WOW! This gun sounds great!” Oh, but there’s a catch, and oh boy this will be a big one for all the salty slivers that used this thing as a crutch. It’s way less accurate when shooting rapidly now. You can no longer spam this gun like like some creep messaging a girl. *Yo. Hey. sup. Sup?. Whatchu up to? Hey. Hey. oops wrong send that was for a friend….hey* But it isn’t all that bad.
Infact I very much like this new Tec 9. Because if you have good aim this thing is really fucking scary now. Trust me, the first time you kill somebody across the map with this thing, you will know exactly what I mean. Like just look at this shit *running in the 90’s* Mmm Oh yeah Hnnnggg “OMG. But it’s so bad at running and gunning now!1!1” Good. It should be. It’s a $500 pistol. There’s absolutely no reason why a $3000 rifle shouldn’t be be able to beat it 9 out of 10 times. Does this mean everyone should rush to equip the CZ now instead of the tec-9? *Laugh* Of course not. But the tec 9 is actually in a really good spot now and I’m actually impressed valve is actually trying to balance pistols for once…..oh..wait, shit that wasn’t on the script…uh….I mean….GOD DAMNIT VALVE WHY DID IT TAKE YOU THIS LONG TO FIX THIS GUN FINALLY.
So that’s all there is to using the REKT-9. Tune in next time as I show you how to use the Fucking Five Seven, because OMG THEY FINALLY NERFED IT! Holy shit!.
As found on Youtube