The Final Coil of Bahamut is a great place for gear, story, and ERP. It is where the bourgeois gather and talk about getting the Dreadwyrm Ring of Fending 5 times in a row and how much summoners are unwelcome. However, the fights are amped up, taking you and your unstable roster to the limit. Take this seriously because 2.5 will last for another 2 years or so, so you need to be the best of the best so that you can finally have the DPS to take down Shiva EX, or even Urth’s Fount if you’re REALLY pro.
Preparation: You must first beat the Second Coil of Bahamut (guide can be found here; You’re welcome). Hunts have been released for the first time this patch and are easier to get into than ever. By doing hunts, you can get carboncoat, carbontwine, ventures, and a wind-up succubus (which is BiS so make sure you get a couple of these in case you throw them out). To join in on the hunt, go to any zone and look for key words like “early” and “puller” and “wtf” and “homoerotic.” This will let you know that a hunt has just concluded. Trade with everyone trying to teleport away to keep them there and ask them to join their party. They will accept. Follow people around and arrive late until you get fed up and craft your gear instead. You’ll also need 5 or 6 bards on backup for one of the primary mechanics of the FCOB. You’ll also need food and potions: you can get mega-potions of strength NQ as a leve reward from Mor Dhona (CUE MARKET CRASH FOR EXPOSING SECRETS). As for food, the only way that I know is to go around offering handies until someone gives you some. I’ve also heard that you can buy eggs somewhere, but I think that’s a myth. Similar to ST, avoid World of Darkness because that minion is not going to drop. Also, consider finishing that Brayflox NM farm group that you started forever ago because it has BiS for glamour, and you need all the deeps you can get for this.
Turn 10: There are two mechanics that are part of this fight that aren’t even part of the boss. The first is bard instability. You’ll get a bard that will quit your static as soon as you get into FCOB. This is where you’ll need your backups. Run through them until you seemingly find the backup with the worst damage; that one has the most to prove. His voice will also be weird in your voice chat; don’t worry, his voice is BiS. The second will be that you have to find someone who has gotten past the trash but not beaten the boss. There are people out there who can sneak past the adds and IT’S NOT YOU SO DON’T EVEN TRY DEAL WITH IT. You’ll need to find someone to skip this. This mechanic will take a while so be patient, but also flip your shit and talk about how you’ve been thinking about quitting because of roster instabilities. Once you get someone to skip trash for you, get your initial party back together and get to the boss. Maahes will be waiting for you. Your tank will start the fight without protect; make sure your healers are to blame. The boss has two frontal cones: one in the front and one behind. These simulate all of the directions that Taco Bell can come out of you; stop eating Taco Bell. Avoid both. Eventually, a blue marker will appear over someone. This means that Imbagod is going to charge someone. You’ll need to raise them. If it’s a healer, wipe it until it’s not a healer. The boss will leave behind some electricity that really hurts, so when you disconnect later in the fight, make sure that you’re not standing in it. The boss will give birth on da flo; most groups are chauvinistic and kill the daughters first. Kill the children and Im2gud will burst and come back and do the same shit mostly. Some lightning will come down and hit people so make sure they’re in their designated spots that you should have assigned and that I should have told you to do but didn’t because I didn’t watch the video on making this guide. People will basically stay in their same spot the entire fight until lightning comes down when they’ll run around and group up for whatever reason and you’ll wipe. Keep going until the stars align and no one gets hit by anyone else’s lightning. After a while, the boss will give birth again and then these Lannister children will incestuously give birth to even more children. Wait until all six are out (DONT START KILLING ANY OF THEM UNTIL THE LAST GROUP SPAWNS) and then use AOE LB on 4 of them, because your tank will tactically lose hate and 2 of them will run at the healer who will run to the outer circle. Kill all of them blame your healers for any deaths that occur. The final phase will come up. It will also go tether + lightning into either tether + charge or lightning + charge. If you ever get tether + charge, wipe and try the fight again until you get lightning + charge. Tether + charge will kill 2 of your people while lightning + charge will only kill one; effectively halving the mana that you use!! This is the only way to do this. Keep raising and use tank limit when the boss gets too many stacks. The floor will close in around you and you’ll realize that the bard you got didn’t have enough damage so move on to a different one until you win.
Turn 11: There’s some trash that hurts healers a LOT so you’ll need to have two healers, a tank, and idc. A monk or something. Just not a summoner. All of those people will go to one side, kill everything there, return back, and go to the other side as well. Don’t return too early and you’ll have to wait 15 minutes to clear another side. The rest of your party can deal with their connection issues or texts from their nosey girlfriends asking about what they’re doing right now like what? are we married now or something? fuck. Kali-ma will be at the end. The boss has 3 moves: Nerve gas, sloppy seconds, and some color coded bombs. You’ll start the fight and everyone in your group will immediately be at half hp because they STILL after all this time can’t grasp that the boss will do a frontal cone auto attack first. Both of your tanks need to be Siamese-twinsing it in front of the boss. Nerve gas will come out and give everyone vulnerability; just heal through it and blame the healers if you die. Barofield will drop right under the boss and kill your d/cing dragoon after like 10 seconds. Keep doing damage, spread out, and raise the people that get hit by the blue bomb. Also a tank might die but whatever you have 2. At 60%, the boss will summon some adds. Have your not-summoner hit the square one while your monk autoattacks the circle one because Goad never went out. You’ll also need to raise your bard because he was standing on the wall when the adds came out. This part is going to be kind of hard to do with 7 people because let’s face it, your dragoon isn’t coming back. Anyway, just kill shit and dodge lasers. There will be this high damaging paralyze that’s going to hit the group that may complicate things, but just be better and it won’t be an issue. The boss will explode and your healer should have been stoneskinning people, but he wasn’t so raise the people that he neglected and make sure he knows that it’s his fault. Your scholar will be pretty quiet here because he could have virused, too, but he forgot so he’s just gonna let your WHM take the heat. Some tethers will come out. If the tethers aren’t on the two tanks, it’s a wipe. Just redo the fight until you get nothing but tank tethers. If you enrage, get a different bard.
Turn 12: This fight is a real challenge with your shitty bard; you’ll definitely cycle through a lot here. Phoenix will use a tank buster called Revelation that’s going to kill your warrior because your healer didn’t heal hard enough. Make sure they know this. Some small birds will pop up through the fight that need to be taken way too far away from each other. Also your tank will start pulling them away way too late so some might die on the way. Oh well, concentrate on your dps numbers because that’s what matters; everyone ELSE is fucking up but not you. Phoenix will eventually spawn some black fires; don’t touch it because you don’t know where it’s been and you don’t want to catch what it has. It’ll spawn some white fires to subdue the black fires and just leave an overall bad taste in your mouth and remind you about 3/5th of some shit that you heard about in high school. You’ll probably wonder if SE caught on to this, but never voice your concerns. Anyway, finish the urban fires off and keep doing this until 80%. A brand will go out and it will just be WAY too much for your healers to deal with but don’t let them get out of this shit; this is their responsibility. A blue fire will target a melee every. damn. time. and drop a giant aoe right under Phoenix. Quickly make your tank pull Phoenix really far away for every blue fire. A red fireball will come out and your bard will need to sprint to get to it because he forgot. Try to get him a Goad only to see it go out on the not-summoner. You’ll want to slow your damage on Phoenix until you get LB3. This’ll be at about 6 bennus I’m assuming (Idk, I’m still on turn 8.) LB3 them all and then ???. Once the add phase is done, Phoenix will come back and drop a burning ring of fahr. Someone needs to be in this and it can’t be your healers because they just have a lot on their plate right now with the gas prices being so low and they’re on weight watchers AGAIN. I would not recommend putting your bard in the ring because he’s just going to die anyway. About this time, a tank will be forgotten about and die to Revelation so make sure your other tank is ready to pick it up. Just keep the damage up, replace your bard if the damage is too low, and he’ll be done with.
Turn 13: This fight was kind of a mistake by SE; they forgot to add echo to it so it’s actually not possible right now, but fuck it you can try, right? Megaflare will come out and some markers will come down indicating who is going to be sacrificed. Then Earthshaker will come out and your bard is going to get confused on which marker was which, so he’ll run to the middle and put his goop all over everyone. This is pretty much as far as you can possibly get right now; without echo, you can’t survive the gigaflare. Someone in my group said that the fight becomes easier if I buy a LOT of gil and then start reselling that gil to people, so I’ll probably have to try that.
Congratulations on your clears! You’ve earned it!