As you know, some of the best gear that you can get in the game can be found in the Second Coil of Bahamut. This gear will be best in slot for the next year or so, so it would make sense that you want to bust your balls getting that shit as soon as possible, even if it kills you. I’m here to help you get it with this guide that is guaranteed to get you “far.” This entire guide will be written from a tank perspective, because tanking is by far the hardest part of coil, and people need to recognize and respect that.
Preparation: Do Leviathan and Titan EX exclusively until you have everything that they offer, horses included. This is very important not only in drops, but in overall character building. A lot of people weren’t spanked as a child, so Titan will have to come in after the fact and retroactively teach you the lesson you never got. Make sure that you only join groups with 3 strike rules, as you know they are the serious ones. Once you complete these EX’s about ten times each, buy a run for each of them and tell the people that you bought it from that you’ve been farming this and want to show them how it’s done. Avoid Syrcus Tower, because it’s not likely you’ll get the wind-up knight from it anyway, so it’s not even worth going.
Turn 6: You’ll enter T6 and immediately encounter the hardest boss in SCoB: Connection Issues. Your screen will get staticy, but this boss won’t reappear until T7, T8, and whenever you have a good run at T9. The boss drops nothing besides your confidence, but it’s still a part of the raid. You’ll want to tank the golems that you see on top of the glowing red area to keep your healers on their toes. Make sure that they you mean business, and also that you can take more hits than other people that they’re used to. Tactically lose hate on one of the golems to take this strat to the next level. Do the same for the next set of golems, and don’t bother taking hate on the flowers because they’re ranged anyway. After you clear this, you’ll see a giant flower in the middle named Rafflestomp. Start the fight immediately to lock out anyone that isn’t paying attention. With 7 people in the fight, know that you’ll have a lot of tethers that you’ll need to heal through for their 15 second duration. When the bulbs pop up, move the boss away from them and reposition your entire raid so they don’t stand in briar growth. At this point, the person you locked out will leave so it will reset your limit break: be aware of this. A marker will come out on a person and this will signify the phase where everyone runs into the briar patches to avoid being eaten. As a tank, you’ll want to get eaten so that you don’t take spit damage. Healers need to deal with this part accordingly. As you approach 70%, you’ll want to tell your healers to start stoneskinning everyone so that you can make it through Blighted Bouquet. Raise the weak that didn’t make it. Rasslefia will mark someone with honey and a wasp will come to cultivate that honey thinking that it’s a bee. This person that is marked needs to die so that it doesn’t spawn any more confused wasps. Dealer’s choice on how to kill them. Around this time, your wife/girlfriend will text you; make sure that you have stoneskin on for the next Blighted Bouquet. Eventually, slugs will pop and some convulted stuff will happen. Ignore everything and hit Rattrap. Rastaman will die eventually.
Turn 7: Kill nodes first so that you can spawn more mobs and have your tanks grab them and run them around. AOE everything down once you have gotten everything to spawn. You’ll get to the top and see Naga Siren. Naga Siren will use Riptide, Siren’s Song, and spawn a Renauld. Siren’s Song causes a triangle to vomit out in front of you and stoneskin everyone that it touches, but the bad kind. Shoot it at Melusine and the Renauld. If you catch a teammate with it, immediately tell them that you were lagging or that your cat jumped onto your lap and you had to pet it. Naga will use Mirror Image at 80%. The illusion’s only have a Heart of Tarrasque and no radiance, but they still hit really hard, so they still need to die. The illusions will use Riptide as well. On the third illusion, you’ll start lagging so you’ll want to stay turned around the whole time and just keep flashing Naga. After the third illusion dies, Naga will disconnect your kiter and you. Furiously hit numpad 0 to try to reconnect, even as it puts your third or fourth in queue. You’ll reconnect right as she spawns more illusions at 60%. The outer ring will just have been activated and you’ll die immediately so use what little TP you have as soon as you come back. Get raised and get hate back on the boss right when she tails slaps you and the bard behind you trying to voice Melusine, killing you both and putting on the brink of death. Blame your healers for not stoneskinning you two and tell them to pick up the slack. A renaud will unstone right about here and start to run around. Have your warrior Brutal Swing to buy time as you come back up and voice it. If you didn’t get voice at this point, you wiped and you’ll have to start the strat over again until you get it. Naga will spawn a prosecutor to petrify everyone that is looking at it. Your monk will need to LB3 the prosecutor because your dragoon will be stoned from looking at the prosecutor because he was stuck jumping. This method is the best way to get stylishly stoned, so don’t skip it. As part of the mechanics, your healers will run out of mana and LB3 instead of the monk, so take the prosecutor down the normal way. Stone mel gibson until she dies.
Turn 8: Hit the boss.
Turn 9: Markers will pop up on you signifying that a meteor is about to drop from space on your location. The marker will come off you, but hang around to see if it’s bluffing. A bright red marker will pop up on someone that must die. Move them towards the edge so that if a meteor comes down it will be away from everyone and you don’t really need to worry about anything about placement other than that. Eventually the boss will run away like a puss and spawn some golems. Run around and hit them because meteors will spawn while you’re fighting them. Keep doing this for a few weeks until you kill them and don’t die. Nael will come back and summon an obelisk that will drop down and kill everyone. There is no way currently to beat this part, so you’ll need to wait until someone figures something else out.
Congratulations! You’ve done… something today!