Hey, what’s up GG (guys and girls)? CouilleBleu’s back today to play… Here are the runes, masteries, skills distribution and items that you’ll need to piss off your enemies all day long. Against any champion in any lane, you must use your Summoned Mace skill not to farm minions, but to harass the hell out of the enemies and combine it with your Smack skill to piss them off even more without taking any damage. If you want to farm, all you need to do is Auto-Attack the minions one by one to gain some pocket money. If you do that, the enemies will be so fed up with you that they will charge at you even if he has to engage in a fearsome sixsome because you did not let them farm peacefully just like in any custom games.
And, if you’re the one that decide to savagely jump on the enemy, you will have no problem to send her to oblivion with a Smack-Haunty Dumpty combo and watch her suicide with your minions. Since you didn’t let Akali farm or get any kill, she might call her ninja brother to kill you, so all you need to do is stand your ground against them and spam your Window Shards-Summoned Mace-Smack-Haunty Dumpty combo on both of them until you send these illicit siblings to hell. When you’re mid, you might see a blood sucker mistake this mini-turret for a normal turret, so he will fight you near it, so all you need to do to break his confidence is to destroy that wannabe turret and finish him off with a Window Shards-Summoned Mace-Haunty Dumpty-Ignite combo. If you happen to solo the entire enemy team at mid, just stay close to your tower and Summoned Mace them until your allies come to help you out and when they get there, you can have a nice goodbye party with them, no problem! Later on, because of their stupidity, they will drop so fast that you can’t even call this a teamfight.
If you follow these instructions to the letter, the enemies will never be able to farm to buy a single gatorade. And whenever you come back in lane, they’ll just run like pussycats. After denying your opponent, you can push the lane by doing a Smack-Summoned Mace combo and (I’M A NOOB, SO WHAT?) to piss off their jungler. Or, you can go help a bot lane that desperately needs your help to gain endless praises from your teammates. Do the same thing in the top lane and kill a Demacia boy that thinks that you can’t attack him when you’re out of his ring. Then, team up with your jungler to steal the enemy’s blue buff and have a hot threesome with a Karthus that didn’t deal a single damage to you. If you’re seen by the Card Master’s ultimate while you tried to gank, fake a run away until it’s gone and come back to this brush to Window Shards-Smack-Summoned Mace-Haunty Dumpty combo that kiddo and finish him off with a smack in the face.
Your Smack skill is the best to harass your enemies, to clear the jungle at lightning speed, to get a free hit on the tower to use it later on the minions or to send Ashe and her sick brother back to the archer’s training ground. Your Summoned Mace skill is the best to kill every minions standing in your way and to clear the jungle once again like no one. Use that skill like a fuckabish and you will be able to KS your team anytime even if it’s the KS master himself or simply to punish a lazy guy that didn’t want to walk from here to his base.
If you totally trust your team, pretend to be afk here and have some human wall block that kiddo’s jump like real bosses and KS them with your Summoned Mace. Combine that skill with your Flash spell and no one will try to mess with you ever again. Look! Top right corner! It’s Anivia! it’s Corki! No! It’s Mordekaiser! Use that Summoned Mace to harass a ninja hiding in a stupid cloud, to gain armor against a full-out attack from a weak Jarvan or a flying Pikachu, to leash that blue golem for your jungler and to see if someone’s hiding in the brush or on the other side of a wall. Your Window Shards skill can be used on a friendly minion to make him kill his brothers-in-law in no time or on a rock solid dude to make him harder than ever. Use it on yourself and you will be able to clear the jungle a third time, no problem! Welcome to the League of Legends Champion Spotlight featuring Mordekaiser, The Metallic Harasser.
Use Mordekaiser’s Window Shards skill on yourself and sprint to the enemy’s base while ignoring the minions waves and if some wild pokemons appear, run over them like a truck. Thanks for tunning into the Mordekaiser Champion Spotlight. Please subscribe to Riot Games YouTube channel above even though they do not have any Mordekaiser’s Spotlight. But hey, when I really think hard about it, if you can use your Window Shards, your Summoned Mace and your Smack skill to jungle and to solo dragon, why not combine them to (I’M NOT THE CUNT, YOU ARE) Usually, people use Mordekaiser’s Haunty Dumpty skill on the AD carry because you can use his ghost to help you on the battlefield.
But, if you want to be a real AP master, use it on the enemy’s AP Carry and no one will dare to mess with you. And, if you use it when the enemy’s almost dead, you will be guaranteed a kill, no problem! If you want, use that skill on a useless support Soraka just to piss her off and no one will be able to steal the kill from you. But, be careful when you choose your target because on champions like Karthus, you need to wait until his ghost dies before you can control this dead…huh…dead ghost? When you have the ghosts, send these useless fuckabishes to tank the tower because your minions are way more important than them. Use the ghost as a ward while you escape from a dirty foursome and scare the enemies if they try to chase you.
Use it to get a free assist on a weed and to destroy the turret without dirtying your mace on that crap. If you have amazing teammates, have faith on them and let them protect you while you run away and thank them by using your Smack skill on the greedy enemy to KS them. You can also lead the fight by spamming your skills until your team stop acting like pussycats and when most of the enemies die, chase that Ashe’s sick brother to finish him off with a Window Shards-Summoned Mace combo.
If Rammus dares to taunt you, punish him with a Summoned Mace-Haunty Dumpty-Ignite combo and he’ll never do that ever again. On your way to (WHAT CAN I WRITE NOW?), you might encounter a wild archer so have a one night stand with him by doing a Summoned Mace-Smack-Window Shards-Haunty Dumpty combo. That’s it for today, people! Don’t forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos. Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I’ll only answer those in English and in French because I’m a racist fuckabish. Ciaossu!.