Hey, what’s up GG (guys and girls)? CouilleBleu’s back today to play… Here are the runes, masteries, skill distribution and items that you’ll need to be the best stalker in your city. It’s always good to start off any game with a First Blood by using Ghost and by auto-attacking the enemy carry for an easy ass whooping. If you see a Blitz with half HP, don’t hesitate to Ultimate-Roll-Autoattack combo him to death. Then, move on to that sniper and make her Buttfuck her turret for a hot threesome. If you have a crying mummy as a support, you can easily kill that robot like a boss and chase after that jumping kiddo to not let her escape. Don’t worry Blitz, the party’s just getting started.
The next step to get Vayne fed is to let your ButtFucking Friend bait the enemy to chase that sniper and try to get the kill before that snowball reach that fuckabish. Repeat that same bait scenario to kill that kiddo that shouldn’t play with guns. If you’re low on health, run away while auto-attacking Blitz and finish your threesome if you see him running for his life.
But, be sure to not stay in his grab’s range until your ButtFucking Friend deals some damage to him and when he’s low enough, it’s time to play as a KS master. If you’re alone, make Blitz Buttfuck the wall and Roll to dodge his grab. Then, run over there, hide in that brush and kill that kiddo since Blitz left her all alone in the jungle. Now that you’re fed, you can easily kill dragon and run away from the enemies. Stalk Shyvana and move on to Draven because you know that the wannabe dragon will die from your red buff or even kill that guy without even trying. Always use your Ultimate skill to destroy any turret like a boss and use your Pushback skill on that crying mummy to finish your business. Then attack that nexus a bit and kill that mummy because he’s just annoying the hell out of you.
Your ultimate skill is also great to (CURSING IS A BAD HABIT) and have a foursome with that dragon faster. Your Roll skill is the best to dodge any kind of attack you may encounter, to finish off a running enemy, to kill the minion before the tower, to harass that sniper, to have a foursome with Baron like a ninja and to hurt the dragon on every inch of his body. The best way to use that skill is to Roll over a cat or a snowman, to facecheck a brush, to not let that fatass step on a trap or to roll around your tower to activate a level up hack. Your Pushback skill is awesome to kill a girly ninja hiding in her fart cloud or a running Pedobear. It’s also great to send that sniper flying back to her base or to make Garen attack the inhibitor instead of you. You can also make the blue golem buttfuck the trees so he won’t be able to hit you a single time.
Do the same thing for the red lizard and that robot troller won’t be able to steal your red buff. Don’t forget to Pushback a chasing Pedobear, to send that Blitz in the center of Nunu’s ultimate or to punish that ganking mummy. If you ever spot a Zyra in the river, Roll-Pushback-Ultimate combo her and get KSed by Teemo’s stupid mushroom. Since you saw Ezreal use his Arcane Shift, just go in there with an Ultimate-Roll-Pushback combo and auto-attack him to make him regret using that skill to farm minions.
If your teammates are there, make Caitlyn buttfuck the trees and whoop her like a boss. If you’re low on health, wait until your ally tanks the tower to kill that Blitz, no problem! Roll-Pushback combo a mummy that doesn’t know how to Leeroy Jenkins. (STOP CURSING, YOU FUCKABISH) and kill a guy that dares to facecheck that brush. In teamfights, always stay in the back and kill anyone near you. Since Pedobear is separated from his team, back off to make him buttfuck the wall like a boss. Then, come back to the battlefield and kill a Taric that separated himself from the team just like Pedobear. After that, just do a love suicide with Jayce because Ezreal shot a ball on you.
When in a pinch, Ultimate-Roll combo to back off a bit to kill that mummy and that gunfire kiddo from far away with ease, no problem! If you want, you can kill that Shen while Garen becomes the enemies’ punching bag for the fun of it. And when you’re done with that ninja, move on to his sister to have a one night stand with her and go back right away to kill that Yorick spamming master. You shouldn’t worry about that tower and just towerdive like a ninja to 3 shot Ezreal. If there is no tower, what are you waiting for to have a nice girly chat with that woman? A real stalker surprises the enemy from the back to kill that sniper carry and that purple monster.
When a messy teamfight like this occurs, just leave your champion on auto-attack mode and wait until this mess clears up. In the meantime, you can have a non-straight coffee break or an apple juice break. When it’s clear, kill any fuckabish that tries to run away and you’ll win any teamfight, no problem! That’s it for today, people! Don’t forget to check out my channel for more boring League of Legends videos. Feel free to leave a comment in any language you want, but I’ll only answer those in English and in French because I’m a racist fuckabish. Ciaossu!