Tzatziki, Ye Cool:
- Named for your response to the server at your favorite pita place, you’re going to be 20 minutes into a hunt and this little guy will pop in and blind anything in a 12 mile radius. This bipod will come at you like some sort of fucked up picture day drive-by, but don’t you worry this guy is capable of being a homie. Tzatziki really telegraphs his blind attack and it can be used on your foes, for this to work though you have good positioning, which you don’t. This will give you ample time to notice the glaive user in your parties armor as he will continuously get hit with blind resulting in the only 6 seconds he is in contact with the ground. Lucky for you his head is soft and malleable, so follow your mothers lead and slam him on the noggin; but unlike her you can pay for electricity so use that while you’re at it. As this little guy limps away through the lush landscape while you brandish your Innocence Penetrating Dragonblade just remember, this is for research and you’re a hero.
- Don’t fight this clumsy little gaffer when your girl is around because she will insist you quit fighting this ‘cute’ monster and just admire the scenery. So turn on Bridgette Jones’ Diary in the next room and after the bait is set, pitter patter lets get at er. Now this Pittsburgh safety hung up his helmet to become an air slinging rat balloon. If you’re one of those weird didgeridoo players, boy do I have news for you; that one useless song you play that gives you wind resistance is marginally less useless against this sucker. So quit standing in the corner playing the theme from Survivor and actually start making a difference. For those of you normal folk, strap on your fire weapons and pack some flashpods and start wailing on that air sack like its 2004 and you just discovered the NSFW game section on newgrounds.
- This tall glass of water with a nice slim build will leave you dead in the streets. Your stamina is going to turn blue during this fight and after ignoring the tooltip you will struggle to swing your 12 foot hammer as you scream over mic about how other people are attacking the head when “UHM WOW THATS MY JOB.” Luckily your friend who buys the Japanese versions of Monster Hunter, who spouts nonsense words at you and insists you read manga and watch Berserk, will inform you that nulberries actually have a purpose. Once you’re over that hurdle, you will spend the next 50 minutes scaling the biggest clusterfuck of a mountain top as your scoutflies quit guiding you and insist you inspect every flower along the way. Luckily for you there is an upstream nearby, so strap on your glider mantle and summit that bastard like you’re Sir Edmund Hillary. Glider can also be used on the peak to take advantage of the geysers for free mounts, but by the time you’ve got that to work she will have moved. She’s weak to thunder, but all the thunder weapons at this point in the game are ugly so just keep using that weapon you got off the T-Rex until you get to the Rotten Vale.
- Like his name sake this guy has one giant majestic horn. But unlike his namesake you won’t admire his work on a daily basis, let alone ever. If you are one of the lucky few who do encounter this little devil. Pack 6 lunches full of nulberries because if you aren’t slamming those suckers back you’re going to be doing your best Christopher Reeves impression for the next 20 minutes. He’s a quick one also, making this one of the only fights greatsword users actually have to put some effort into, but luckily for you his head isn’t nearly has dense as yours so just keep pressing triangle/y. For everyone else, strap on your fire damage and get that horn burning like you just returned from a boys weekend in Vegas.